So "from a distance" is today's photo topic. Jack is winding down for the day all snuggled up in the couch blanket taking care of the dinosaur eggs and habitats that he has going on some game on the iPad while sneaking glances at the t.v. which is quietly presenting the cartoon Johnny Test. I am hiding behind my bedroom doorway sneaking the pictures.
He looks so sweet and peaceful here. The from a distance topic had me thinking a lot about Jack growing up. Right now he wants me around, all the time. It can actually be a bit overwhelming...and exhausting. I still get lots of kisses and hugs and "bunk-bed" time with hair petting. He still insists that I lie down with him while he reads to me, then I sing to him and then he puts on his Star Wars music (which is actually a CD of a cassette recording of the original Star Wars movie - it is like listening to the radio shows of years gone by!) and wants me to stay just a few more minutes. There are so many evenings, when I lie there and my head is full of lists and all the things I need to do before I can go to bed and I ALWAYS feel guilty walking down the steps from his bedroom because I have once again not lived in the moment and appreciated the closeness and together time that he craves. Because truth be told, it won't be long before I am watching many aspects of Jack's life "from a distance". One day he will not want to hug me in front of his friends (although I am still on my no sugar and no pop thing so I have every intention of being the MILF of Jack's grade so hopefully I will get lots of supplemental hugs from him because I am just so cool!) But one day he won't want me to sit and watch t.v. with him because I will be sitting there rolling my eyes and critiquing the insane shows he has selected to watch as a pre-teen. Eventually the singing at night will be for babies! All of it is inevitable to some degree. So as I am nearing the end of my photographer challenge and still working to find that balance, I have a renewed focus on trying to savor all those special little moments with Jack - no matter how common they may be. I read a while back about a dad that had created an email account for his unborn daughter and he would write her letters and notes and send them to the email account. Some were just quick notes about something funny she had done that day - some were more profound and marked milestones - first steps, birthdays, kindergarten graduation - but I love this idea. I have also heard of people that write a letter to their child on their birthday each year and then they will have 18 letters (or more if you do it on other occasions) to read for their high school graduation. I LOVE this idea too. I feel like in the 7 years that I have known Jack that I have already forgotten so much. I am hoping to figure out a way to start the letter writing soon that still makes it feel whole when I give it to him in 11 years. Maybe an end of school letter? I had a dear friend tell me recently that he had written a letter to his unborn son to open on his 18th birthday. Sadly, the letter went missing in the craziness that is life and the son is now a 21 year old man. It breaks my heart to think that letter will go unread by his amazing son. I so want him to find it and be able to give it him. What an amazing gift. I remember being a senior in high school and going on our senior retreat. It was essentially an overnight where everyone stayed at this cabin and we had a couple of talk about our feelings work shops. One of the elements was that we were given a letter from our parents. I was overwhelmed reading about what they were thinking about me being a senior and moving away and all that craziness before graduating from high school. I still have the letter and read it occasionally when I just need a pick me up - a bit of the glory day nostalgia to make you feel better. But I love the idea of Jack having all of these little glimpses into what I was thinking and remembering about him growing up. I hope that he will kee So I am off to snuggle with the Jack-man and savor a few minutes of bliss.
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about me...Hi, I'm Michele. I am starting this website as a bit of a self search for uncovering how to create balance in my life. Want the nitty gritty details about my life? Probably not. But I am sure you will get all you need (or care) to know from the posts so enjoy. Archives
April 2020
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